Gatsby Essay Q & A
General
Perspective (first person, second person, third person)
Essay Structure / Format
Sources
Title
Introduction
Body Paragraphs
Conclusion
- What's the minimum word count?
- Where can I find the grading rubric for the first draft?
- I was working in a document on my computer, and my computer broke / I lost my computer / my brother hid my computer / someone stole my computer / my computer got a virus, and now all my work is gone. What should I do?
Perspective (first person, second person, third person)
- Can I use first person in my argumentative essay (I, me, my, mine, we, us, our, ours)?
- How can I write my essay without using first person? I'm writing about what I think, so I have to say, "I think."
- I wanted to use my own experience as evidence. How can I do that without using first person?
- Can I use second person (you, your, yours)?
- Is it okay to use first or second person in a quote?
- Can I use first or second person in the hook?
- For my hook, I wanted to help my reader imagine a situation by saying something like, "As you walk down the street..." How can I do something like that without using second person?
Essay Structure / Format
- How many paragraphs should be in this essay?
- Does the essay have to be in MLA format? Including the first draft?
- How do I put my essay into MLA format?
Sources
- How do I cite evidence? (this relates to in-text citations and/or the Works Cited page)
- How do I make an in-text citation for The Great Gatsby? I can't include page numbers because it's a movie.
- How many sources / citations do I need?
- I wanted to use my own experience as evidence. How can I do that without using first person?
- Can I do an interview and use it as evidence?
- Can I use sources that are not written in English?
Title
- Can I put my thesis in the title? (Short answer: No. Long answer: Nooooooooooooo!)
- Can you remind me of what makes a good title?
- Can I use my title as the hook?
Introduction
- How do I write a hook?
- I want to write a hook like, "Many people have experienced running out of time because the class break was too short." Would you consider something like this an effective hook?
- Is this hook good enough?
- Can I use my title as the hook?
- Can I use first or second person in the hook?
- For my hook, I wanted to help my reader imagine a situation by saying something like, "As you walk down the street..." How can I do something like that without using second person?
- What do I write as background information in the introduction?
- How do I put my thesis statement and claims into a single sentence?
Body Paragraphs
- How much evidence do I need for each body paragraph?
- Can I use two very similar kinds of evidence to make a point?
- How many sentences of commentary should I write for each piece of evidence?
- Um... what does good commentary look like?
Conclusion
What's the minimum word count?
There isn't a minimum word count. The focus is on quality.
To put it another way, if you wrote 300 words, how well could you possibly prove your point?
If you do your best to draw the reader in with a good hook, introduce the topic well, and convince your target audience with body paragraphs full of compelling evidence and well-reasoned commentary, word count shouldn't be a problem.
Where can I find the grading rubric for the first draft?
The first draft rubric is the same as the final draft rubric. It's in the Assignment for the term, and a copy of it is also attached to the essay assignment in Google Classroom.
I was working in a document on my computer, and my computer broke / I lost my computer / my brother hid my computer / someone stole my computer / my computer got a virus, and now all my work is gone. What should I do?
1) Go back into the past and do all of your work in Google Docs.
2) In the future, always, always, always do ALL of your work in Google Docs. If you work in Google Docs, I have tons of evidence of your work: when you worked, how much you worked, how long you worked, and what work you did. And if you do your work in Google Docs and something happens to your computer, your work is still safe. If you do it in your computer, I have no evidence, and your work is only as safe as your computer itself.
Can I use first person in my argumentative essay (I, me, my, mine, we, us, our, ours)?
Not unless it's in a quote (in dialogue or a quote from another source). Everywhere else, you should only use third person in this essay (he, she, it, his, hers, its, they, them, their, theirs).
How can I write my essay without using first person? I'm writing about what I think, so I have to say, "I think."
Actually, if you really believe it's true you can just state it as a fact. If you say, "I think" something, then your reader will be wondering, "Who are you? Are you some kind of expert? No? Then I don't care what you think."
For example, instead of saying, "I think the government should make all schools close by 8:00 p.m.," just say, "The government should make all schools close by 8:00 p.m." It's stronger when you say it like that.
I wanted to use my own experience as evidence. How can I do that without using first person?
I'm glad you asked. It's just too awkward to talk about yourself in third person, which is the only perspective you're supposed to use in this essay, outside of quotes from other sources. And I'm also asking you not to use your own personal experience in this essay.
Can I use second person (you, your, yours)?
Not unless it's in a quote (in dialogue or a quote from another source). I realize that it's a challenge, but I am requiring you to stick with third person (he, she, it, his, hers, its, they, them, their, theirs).
Is it okay to use first or second person in a quote?
Yes, it is.
Can I use first or second person in the hook?
Not unless it's in a quote (in dialogue or a quote from another source). For example, if you have dialogue or evidence that's quoted from an outside source, there can be first or second person in the hook. Otherwise, you should use only third person (he, she, it, his, hers, its, they, them, their, theirs).
How many paragraphs should be in this essay?
There should be four paragraphs:
- Introduction
- Two body paragraphs
- Conclusion
Does the essay have to be in MLA format?
The essay will be written in the organizer (both the first and final drafts) because that shows me your understanding of what each category is, especially the difference between evidence and commentary.
The Works Cited should be in MLA format even in the first draft, but other than that the organizer is not required to be in MLA format.
I will make a separate assignment in which you will demonstrate your ability to properly MLA-format your essay, but that is not the copy that I will look at for the final draft grade. Your final draft should be in the organizer. The MLA-format copy is a separate and minor assignment.
How do I put my essay into MLA format?
You can find all the information you need in the MLA Format Q & A here on this site.
How do I cite evidence?
Questions about citations are answered in the MLA Format Q & A here on this site.
How do I make an in-text citation for The Great Gatsby? I can't include page numbers because it's a movie.
Normally, you cite a movie very similarly to how you would cite a book. Baz Luhrmann is the director, so a citation would look like this:
(Luhrmann)
HOWEVER, when you use the film as evidence I want to see exactly what you're talking about, so I want you to include the time code. For example, let's say you're talking about the moment when Gatsby tries get Nick involved in a financial con -- that moment is 49 minutes and 17 seconds into the movie. In that case, your in-text citation would look like this:
(Luhrmann #t=49m17s)
If I take that last part and add it to the URL of the film in Google Drive, then I can look at the exact moment that you're talking about to see if I agree with your assessment of what's happening in that scene:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BwDwnby0Fz4JQ195SW5XdVhuR1E/view#t=49m17s
How much evidence do I need for each body paragraph?
It's not about the amount of evidence -- it's about proving your points well.
About the Gatsby character you have chosen, you need to show a pattern of behavior to prove something about a person's personality. If Gatsby was considerate one time, that doesn't prove that he was a considerate person. If you want to prove that, show me enough evidence to demonstrate a pattern, and if he did anything truly inconsiderate, you'll have to explain to me why that doesn't disprove your point.
Imagine that your reader doesn't believe anything you say until you have really proven it, and then make it your job to convince them.
I honestly believe that you will know if you have proven your points well, and that's what I'm asking you to do.
How many sources / citations do I need?
The ONLY source you need for Gatsby information is YOUR OWN OBSERVATIONS of the film.
To be clear, you should NOT do ANY other research or seek any other information about Gatsby outside of the film.
For the other topic you are including in this essay, it depends.
If you're using Harry Potter, for example, then you will need a minimum of two sources for your essay: the Gatsby movie and the Harry Potter movie. But you may choose to use multiple Harry Potter books or movies if the evidence you need isn't in just one place.
If, on the other hand, you're talking about something non-fictional, you need reliable cited sources about that thing.
For example, if you're arguing which Gatsby character would be the best wedding planner, I would expect at least one new source about wedding planning in each body paragraph. There is a ton of information about wedding planning online, and sticking to just one source would be a clear sign of laziness
Again, your sources must be reliable, and you need to cite each of them (in-text citations and adding them to the Works Cited page).
Can I do an interview and use it as evidence?
Yes, if your topic is something that could be supported with an interview of someone you are able to talk with.
If you're interviewing an expert in the topic, make sure it's clear to the reader that the person is an expert.
If you're interviewing people for their opinions (in which case the interviewee doesn't necessarily have to be an expert), you have to be careful -- don't take one person's experience and claim that it represents a lot of people unless you actually prove that it really does represent a lot of people.
Also, as with any evidence, you have to list the source in your Works Cited section.
http://www.easybib.com/mla8-format/interview-citation
Can I do an interview and use it as evidence?
Yes, if your topic is something that could be supported with an interview of someone you are able to talk with.
If you're interviewing an expert in the topic, make sure it's clear to the reader that the person is an expert.
If you're interviewing people for their opinions (in which case the interviewee doesn't necessarily have to be an expert), you have to be careful -- don't take one person's experience and claim that it represents a lot of people unless you actually prove that it really does represent a lot of people.
Also, as with any evidence, you have to list the source in your Works Cited section.
http://www.easybib.com/mla8-format/interview-citation
Can I use sources that are not written in English?
Sorry, no. I need to be able to easily verify that the information you cited is actually where you said you found it, and Google Translate isn't reliable enough to use for that.
Can I put my thesis in the title?
No. If you give it a title like that, you might as well call your essay, "I Don't Care About This Title."
In reality, maybe you DON'T care about your title. In that case, you still don't want to let your reader (or your teacher) have any idea that that's true.
Often, as soon as people know what the main point of an article or essay or news story is, they say, “Okay, I get it," and then they go read something else. If they “get it” as soon as they see your title (because you let them know exactly what the whole essay was about), then your title might drive readers away before they have a chance to find out how great your essay is.
Can you remind me of what makes a good title?
Sure. A good title...
- Shows creativity (it might be poetic, funny, insightful -- all of these show voice)
- Will make the reader curious
- Is at least a little bit (but maybe very) mysterious -- gives an interesting HINT about the heart of the essay without making it obvious what the essay is about
- Wouldn't fit as the title of a lot of completely unrelated essays (the title "There Is a Problem" could probably fit every essay, so it's not a good title)
- Won't be completely understood until the reader has read the essay (but the meaning of the title IS made clear in the essay(
- In fact, good titles are sometimes explained by something that the writer says in the conclusion of the essay.
- You can either write the conclusion first and then the title, or sometimes a good title comes up that you can easily put in the conclusion later.
Since this essay is a combination of two topics, on good method for coming up with a title that refers to both is to make a list of words and phrases about the Gatsby character of your choice and words and phrases that relate to the other topic.
Here's a video of me using that method with my sample essay using a Macbeth character (Malcolm) and the stock market:
In case you're not familiar with it, I'm referring to an old saying: "He who fights and runs away may live to fight another day." Because this is a very well known saying, this can be considered an allusion, not a lack of creativity or a case of plagiarism. The title actually requires someone to know that expression to get what the title means.
At the same time, even if someone knows and recognizes the original expression in my title, they would still have to read the essay to understand why I changed the expression the way I did. This creates curiosity and requires someone to read to satisfy their curiosity.
How do I write a hook?
Here's the video we looked at in class on how to write hooks: How to Write a Hook
As I mentioned in class and here in this Q & A, unlike some of the examples in that video, the argumentative essay will use third person only.
I want to write a hook like, "Many people have experienced running out of time because the class break was too short." Would you consider something like this an effective hook?
If you have to ask, that's not a great sign. But seriously -- do YOU think that's going to grab anyone's attention? It's about as easy and about as ineffective as the rhetorical question ("Have you ever run out of time because the class break was too short?"), which is one of the "Hooks to Avoid" in the video linked in the previous question.
Is this hook good enough?
I think YOU can tell if your hook is good enough, as long as you are willing to be honest with yourself.
Seriously… Imagine a person who is really bored and really doesn’t care about your topic (maybe they already hate your topic even before they see your essay!), and ask yourself...
- “If THAT PERSON read the beginning of my first sentence, would they HAVE to read the rest of the sentence?"
- "If they read the whole first sentence, would they HAVE to read the next one?”
If your hook makes the reader truly CURIOUS from the very beginning, that’s a good hook.You can do this. Don’t kid yourself, and don’t settle for less. If you are having trouble, ask for help.
Can I use my title as the hook?
No. A good title can be like a mini-hook, making the reader want to read more, but even if you have a good title, there should be a hook at the beginning of the introduction.
No. A good title can be like a mini-hook, making the reader want to read more, but even if you have a good title, there should be a hook at the beginning of the introduction.
For my hook, I wanted to help my reader imagine a situation by saying something like, "As you walk down the street..." How can I do something like that without using second person?
Think about it -- there are millions of engaging stories that we all love to read, and how many of them are in second person? Comparatively very few. I feel confident that if you want to write a hook that brings the reader into a narrative moment, you can do it very well in third person.
Now, maybe you are already thinking of what you want to say in second person, and now it's hard to imagine it in third person. In case it's useful, here's an example of the same moment converted from second person to third person:
In second person:
In third person:
Of course, if you give the characters names and describe them directly it would be more like the third person stories we usually read -- this is just my attempt to stay as close as possible to the original second person description.
For my hook, I wanted to help my reader imagine a situation by saying something like, "As you walk down the street..." How can I do something like that without using second person?
Think about it -- there are millions of engaging stories that we all love to read, and how many of them are in second person? Comparatively very few. I feel confident that if you want to write a hook that brings the reader into a narrative moment, you can do it very well in third person.
Now, maybe you are already thinking of what you want to say in second person, and now it's hard to imagine it in third person. In case it's useful, here's an example of the same moment converted from second person to third person:
In second person:
- As you rush through the woods right behind your best friend, you slip and fall and get right back up again. The strange and quickly-moving light shines through the trees. It seems like you have almost reached it, but then it is gone again, changing angles and turning night into brighter-than-daylight, with sharp, dark shadows rotating wildly behind every tree as the light source zips by. And then it stops. You can still hear the strange whining noise that woke you up, and it gets louder as you reach the top of the ridge and look down on it, suspended in air. It's huge. It's definitely not from Earth. And no one will ever believe you.
In third person:
- Rushing through the woods together, slipping, falling, and running again as the strange and quickly-moving light shines up ahead through the trees. So close for a moment, but then it's gone again, the light changing angles and turning night into brighter-than-daylight, with sharp, dark shadows rotating wildly behind every tree as the object zips by. And then it stops. The strange whining noise gets louder at the edge of the ridge, and there it is, suspended in air. It's huge. It's definitely not from Earth. And no one will ever believe it.
Of course, if you give the characters names and describe them directly it would be more like the third person stories we usually read -- this is just my attempt to stay as close as possible to the original second person description.
What do I write as background information in the introduction?
Pretend your reader knows little or nothing about The Great Gatsby. And pretend they know little or nothing about the other topic you're including in the essay (zombie apocalypse, wedding planning, the Terminator films, etc.). Then make sure that you give the basic information the reader will need to know about those things to fully understand your argument.
In my sample essay introduction I didn't work to inform the reader about the stock market because I can assume that the average reader has at least a vague impression of what the stock market is, and a vague impression is enough to work with. I can go into more detail as I prove each claim in the body paragraphs.
If you're writing about which Gatsby character would be in a particular House in Harry Potter, for example, it's safe to assume everyone has heard of Harry Potter, but in your introduction I would explain what the sorting hat is because that's basic information the reader needs to be able to understand your overall thesis.
If it's something less well known in general, then you should provide more information.
How do I put my thesis and claims into a single sentence?
Your thesis is the statement of the change you would like to happen. Here's a an example using a regular argumentative essay topic:
- The Korean government should provide free university education for all Koreans.
Your claims are the reasons why.
- Claim 1: It will boost the Korean economy.
- Claim 2: It will build the country's reputation.
- Claim 3: It will help repair the class divide.
The easiest way to put them into a sentence is to just use the word "because":
- The Korean government should provide free university education for all Koreans because it will boost the Korean economy, it will build the country's reputation, and it will help repair the class divide.
This is completely fine, so if you're not sure how to do it, just do it this way.
Can I use two very similar kinds of evidence to make a point?
If two pieces of evidence are so similar that the second one doesn't make your point any stronger, then it doesn't really add much.
For example, if my claim is that biking to work is good for your health, then my first piece of evidence could be the story of John, who biked to work and lost 15 kg. If my second piece of evidence is the story of Mary, who biked to work and lost 7 kg, that's so similar that it doesn't help prove my point. The first story was good enough -- the second one is just repetition.
Instead, for my second piece of evidence I could look for general information on the health effects of biking, especially if it was not about weight loss, because I want to prove my point in different ways. It would be much better to talk about how biking reduces the risk of heart attacks or increases alertness, or any other possible health benefits, if I can find proof for them.
How many sentences of commentary should I write for each piece of evidence?
It's not about the number of sentences -- it's about making a clear connection for the reader in a way that's interesting to read.
If someone writes ten sentences of nonsense as commentary, it's worse than one good sentence. At the same time, if a student writes just one sentence of commentary for every piece of evidence, I would think they either weren't explaining enough or that their points were so easy to prove that the evidence left nothing to explain, in which case their claims may be too obviously true.
Um... what does good commentary look like?
I'll try to illustrate. In these examples I'll show the evidence in red and the commentary in purple...
EXAMPLE 1:
Commentary that just restates without adding anything:
Famous scientist Carl Jung believed that focusing on problems from the past was not the most effective way to help patients psychologically. Instead, it's better to analyze problems that the patient is having in the present (Brittanica). This proves that analyzing the patient's current problems is more effective than analyzing their history.
This is like quoting an expert who says "The sky is blue" and saying, "This proves that the sky is blue."
What's the point of saying that? How does it help?
I UNDERSTAND THE PROBLEM: This evidence is really straightforward, so it looks like there's not much to interpret or explain.
So how do you improve on commentary with this kind of evidence? I would start by thinking about my thesis and the claim of this paragraph.
- Thesis: Out of all the characters in The Great Gatsby, Nick is the one most qualified to be a psychiatrist.
- Claim: Nick's analytical thinking makes him the most qualified to be a psychiatrist.
Commentary that adds value:
Famous scientist Carl Jung believed that focusing on problems from the past was not the most effective way to help patients psychologically. Instead, it's better to analyze problems that the patient is having in the present (Brittanica). It would be easy to assume that Nick's way of observing and analyzing everyone around him was just the useless habit of a shy person doomed to watch life from the sidelines, but this shows that in the field of psychiatry someone with his level of insight can shine. As a stock broker, he would never achieve the level of satisfaction that he could gain from doing the kind of analysis that he did naturally without even being paid, and his satisfaction as a psychiatrist would no doubt increase his devotion to the profession.
What did this commentary offer the reader?
- It showed my personality and perspective (voice).
- It made a clear connection to the claim.
- It portrayed Nick's life in a sad way which could make the reader feel sorry for him.
- It showed that he is so perfectly suited to being a psychiatrist that not only could it solve other people's problems, it could solve his problem as well. If the reader felt sorry for him before, now they will WANT him to be a psychiatrist, which makes them WANT me to be right. You really want the reader to want you to be right :)
Giving the evidence LIFE with personality and perspective makes it more compelling for the reader.
EXAMPLE 2:
Thesis: The lottery should be banned.
Claim: The lottery unfairly targets the poor.
Commentary that just restates without adding anything:
The poorest people in America are aren't required to pay taxes, but at the same time they spend 9% of their income on lottery tickets. This is a much higher percentage than the amount spent by people with higher income (Thompson). This shows that the poorest people in America spend more of their income on lottery tickets than others.
Too little commentary with very little personality (voice):
The poorest people in America are aren't required to pay taxes, but at the same time they spend 9% of their income on lottery tickets. This is a much higher percentage than the amount spent by people with higher income (Thompson). So having a lottery is almost the same as taxing the poor.
Great commentary with plenty of voice:
The poorest people in America are aren't required to pay taxes, but at the same time they spend 9% of their income on lottery tickets. This is a much higher percentage than the amount spent by people with higher income (Thompson). This fact is not a secret -- it's safe to assume that the government knows this as well as everyone else does, but they're too busy making a profit to worry about the details. By excusing the poorest people from paying taxes, the government seems to be saying, "It's okay -- you're so poor that it would be wrong to take your money," but at the very same time they offer a temptation that the poorest people can't resist -- the chance to win millions in the lottery -- and the poor people end up giving the government a lot of money, anyway. This is basically a tax on people who are so poor they shouldn't be taxed, and the government gets away with it because they stand back and let the nation's most needy people do it to themselves.
The difference between these examples is not just the number of words! Here are some important differences:
- In the third one, the writer really EXPLAINS how this makes the government look bad
- They point out that the government must be aware of where their lottery money comes from.
- They point out that since the government gets the money, they have reason to ignore what's happening
- They make it clear that if it's wrong to tax the poorest people, it's also wrong to take their money in the lottery.
- It's also really clear that the writer of the third example CARES. You don't have to wonder what they really think or feel or believe about the situation. It's very clear.
What is the "So what?" method?
Basically, in the conclusion, when you have restated your thesis and summarized your main points, you can imagine that a reader has just read everything you've written, and they're not sure why they should care, so they ask, "So what?" and you need to answer them.
It really helps a lot if you care about your argument. If you DON'T care about your argument, pretend that you do, and answer the question seriously, writing your answer into the conclusion of your essay.
THEN pretend that the reader asked "So what?" AGAIN, and answer them AGAIN.
With a couple of repetitions, you might be surprised at how well you have concluded your essay.
I'm supposed to explain why this matters, but seriously, why would anyone care about this topic?
Good question :) I mean, this is just an excuse to demonstrate your argumentative skills -- who is really going to care which Gatsby character would survive a zombie apocalypse?
Well, if you picked a topic that YOU enjoy, hopefully the reader will have enjoyed it too, but that doesn't address your question.
If you've used Gatsby characters to explore a positive non-fiction topic (like wedding planning, long-distance running, bowling, etc.) you can focus on the value of the personality characteristics that were mentioned in achieving certain goals.
If it's a negative non-fiction topic (like becoming an assassin), perhaps you can focus on the value of noticing the connection between the personality characteristics you mentioned and possible future behavior.
If you've combined Gatsby characters with another fictional situation, you can still attempt to show value to the reader's daily lives. For example, if your essay were about which Gatsby character would be most likely to survive a zombie apocalypse, the underlying idea is about humans surviving in extreme situations. While acknowledging that a zombie apocalypse is extremely unlikely, you could try to focus your answer to "So what?" on the value of contemplating (and perhaps building) the qualities necessary for survival in extreme situations.
These are just suggestions, but I think you can use them and your imagination to customize the conclusion for any topic.